YOURS TRULY, MISS KITTY

What happens when a sassy 12 -year-old girl from the hood writes to the Wrigley Gum Corporation and ask for free gum? Following is the actual exchange.

Dear Mr. Wrigleys,
Your new bubblemint gum is 5 star in my hood! I've been pluggin' it to all my girls, and now everywhere I turn up the gals is all a’ snappin' anda poppin' and a praisin' the long, long lastin” bubblemint” ( I love that name) flavour! The packaging is dreamy and matches my hot pink hair!!! Everyone I know, knows that I love that new gum and on account of me bein' such a trendsetter they is all chewin' it too! Dear Mr. Wrigley, could you please send me some samples to hand out to my peeps in the hood and to all the sweet dancers at my favorite club on Fri nights?! Let me continue to sing your praises and get the word out there on Wrigley's new, "bubblemint" gum! Not that y'all need my help but I can't keep on givin' out free gum! I am on a bit of a budget!
Thank you and good job folks!
Yours Truly,
L'il Kitty

Dear Mr. Wrigleys,
I am disappointed by your lack of comment! (not to mention no samples!) to a letter I wrote to you last week or whenever! You know the one - the girl with the hot pink hair that matches your “bubblemint” package. I know you're real busy on account of bein' “the largest gum manufacturer in the world” and you probably don’t have time for me and my peeps and our silly little praisin’ of y’all!!!!! But gee Mr Wrigley, ya'll so rich and we don’t have much at all. I told all my friends that I wrote to you. and that we would soon be in “bubblemint” heaven and now my gals is laughin’ at me sayin’ I’m a fool if I think some big corporation is going to give me some free gum just for the askin'.They love your gum, Sir! But they is all gonna go back to Bazooka Joe. One thing about that gum - it’s stale, it has the worst comics in the world and it lasts about 30 seconds til it’s like cardboard. But they do hook my cheerleading team up with free gum! We all more sophisticated than that though! Tsk. Why we consider ourselves “The Wrigley's Girls” and we just can’t always afford to chew it! If you knew me and saw how cute I am you would refuse me nuttin'! And maybe I might even work for you some day!
From all of us to all of yours, A VERY MERRY XMAS an' I hope you get everything you want and everything that you don’t want is given to someone who needs it.
Govern yourself accordingly Sir! In all of your affairs set an example! Seek not to find love, but to love and you will surely be a happy man most of the time, Mr.Wrigley! (That's what it says in the Bible) Yay God!!!!!
Thank-you I hope you can blow a lot of (good) bubbles today!
Yours Truly,
L'il Kitty =^..^=

Mr. Wrigley's Reply

CORKED

The Who-Drank-It poll is now closed. CRD readers from across the country responded and when the smoke cleared, it was our Miss Kitty who garnered the most finger wagging. A strong showing by shady Babs may have surprised a number of observers and leads one to question his self-proclaimed innocence.
Will Miss Kitty serve time or will she get off with a slap on the wrist? Stay tuned for the sentencing, CRD style.

Babs 18.29%  15 

Toad 28.05% 23 

Buttercream 7.32% 6 

Miss Kitty 41.46% 34 

Girlina 4.88% 4

  * Due to the highly subjective and unscientific nature of the poll (and uncontrolled variables i.e. multiple voting from respondents, ahem Buttercream) the final count cannot be construed as firm evidence but only as mere heresay. Besides, Miss Kitty has threatened to shut down the CRD for slander. Slander!

CORKED

A siphoned bottle of bubbly, several shady characters and one distraught Girlina.

It's a classic who-dunnit, but from East Van Al's hotbed of drama and intrigue, it's who-drank-it?
The afternoon of New Year's Eve, our gal Girlina duly prepped her canapes, ironed the holiday napkins and took out her prized bottle of Champagne kept for this special occasion. Imagine the horror on Girlina's perfectly bronzed face when she discovered the bottle was empty! And to add further insult, someone carefully plugged the cork back in after their secret tipple.
Four suspects were immediately fingered - Babs, Toad, Buttercream and Miss Kitty, who all vehemently denied any involvement in this heinous crime.

Babs: Victim's roommate, known for tall tales, postdated cheques and an avowed Champagne sipper. Is on the lam right now in Calgary.
Toad: Victim's boyfriend who spends every weekend at crime scene and is often left unattended watching bad sitcoms. Called "shady" by remaining suspects. Limps.
Buttercream: Friend of Bab's with an addiction to butter who was at the crime scene shortly before the discovery. Has dog with bicycle phobia. Eats a lot of lard.
Miss Kitty: Yet another wayward friend of Bab's, an even bigger spinner of tall tales, who was also at the crime scene with Buttercream. Collects figures of Barbies and baby Jesus. Has multiple personalities.

No one's talking but I leave it to you, faithful CRD reader to decide who was the culprit.

NEWS FLASH!

We've found the culprit.

MELODICA MADNESS - IT'S THE NEWEST CRAZE!

No electricity! It's portable! A lot of fun !

Melodica wind pianos are blown into like a horn while played like a piano as it sounds like a harmonica or an accordion!  

This is an fun-to-learn modern wind instrument for young and old to make their own music. They are very inexpensive compared to pianos, synthesizers, accordions, pipe organs  and anything else on the market today. They are fantastic for recording, solo, ensemble playing, and strolling. Much of its charm comes from the expressiveness and compact size. I take mine out in my dingy, while backpacking, vacations, car (carlodica).

They are the most recent of the mass produced acoustic instruments. They are not made in North America. This may explains why many people do not know what they are, why many styles of music have yet to incorporate them, and why Keyboard Magazine, in publication for over twenty years, has yet to do an article on them! Caution: These instruments can be extremely addictive.