GAMES PEOPLE PLAY

I was in my 20s when the games obsession hit and Babs snuck in RISK to our spartan Vancouver apartment. Who doesn't love shady deals, reneged promises, hasty treaties, bitter word flinging, and cut-throat aggression? There are no friends in RISK.

A unique game particular to our blissed-out crowd was a brilliant combination of theatrical finesse and lip-synching skills, fondly referred to as Lick the Mike. It developed from woozy nights on Gambier Island where Boozy and his partner owned a cabin (a cabin, not a cottage for you Ontarians. And please don't refer to Victoria Day as May Two-Four). Boozy loved the sound of his own voice, fancying himself a pop star and subjected Treva and I to many afternoons of his off-key warbling. During one of his American Idol sessions, Boozy launched into Do They Know It's Christmas, while unbeknownst to us, there as was a sharp-eared observer in the cabin who later commented to him, "You were a little off-key during the chorus". Boozy's mind-numbing rendition of American Pie went on for five hours while he pantomined the lyrics and kicked his shoes off with a flourish. Occasionally, Boozy allowed us to participate in a duet, and Treva and I would tussle over who would be Karen Carpenter.

Back on the Mainland, we organized a party where everyone had to lip synch. The rules were simple: Bring music and a costume. and Treva graciously opened her Thurlow Street house for the occasion. Babs did a passable Eartha Kitt if I remember correctly, but the highlight of the evening was Matreya, who belted out The Rose by Bette Midler while sashaying around a glass paperweight with an embedded floating rose.

Cranium is a fairly new game that I play with the kids and Stephen, but it gradually disintegrates into chaos when Stephen loses interest, molds the plasticine on his face, and the kids yell at him. The only component I really like is the humming part that was repurposed in Greece last summer onboard the infamous Disco Boat to Milos. Is it any surprise that the one person who immediately loved it and wanted to play all night was Boozy?

Babs and Kitty used to play backgammon for hours at Wreck Beach. A few beers and a few Mama Toots later, their skin scorched a leathery brown, they would dazedly continue playing, until one of them had to wander off to stock up on something or another and I would have to pinch hit. This practice served me well in Istanbul when I was forced to while away a few nights playing backgammon with a bunch of prepubescent boys while waiting for Canary to return from her "appointments" with Mohammed the Carpet Seller.

Kitty was a founding member of a notorious underground game called OFAE, that stood for... well I can't say. We drew up these ridiculous waivers swearing us to secrecy. I even designed an official insignia. Meetings were held every Tuesday night and we took turns fulfilling various positions. I believe there was the Mole (the most fun), Head Bitch, Vice Cunt, and the Pussy Secretary. No one ever wanted to be the Pussy Secretary and we made Kirby Girl fill that job more often than not. "But it's an honour!" I will only reveal this: Dead Pigeon.

Charades, is hands down, the most entertaining group game. "Shitake Mushroom" was an early crowd pleaser at an Easter dinner at Roy's one year and most recently, Boozy's head-scratching attempt at "Fatal Attraction" left us in stitches.

Scrabble is our latest game right now and Serena is the undisputed champion amongst us. With her robot-like capacity to analyze board patterns for maximum scoring opportunties, she consistently leaves us in the dust. Viviane, the cunning neophyte, copies down words from the dictionary when we are not watching and claims, "I'm just learning new words".

Stephen bought me a new RISK board last Christmas and the first time I had guests over to play, we were attacking and defending until 4:30 in the morning. So much fun was had that we planned for another evening at Papillon's, this time with prizes. Little did we know that an interloper would cause such ill will. It started off innocently enough and quickly spiralled into an unruly mess. "Crazy Red-Faced Man", as he was dubbed, morphed into a venom-spewing creature when he was being attacked. We were forced to disband the game for fear of bloodletting and fistfights. No trophies were awarded that night.

As Alexander always said, "Games bring out the worst in people."

SissyFight is, like, an intense war between a bunch of girls who are all out to ruin each other's popularity and self-esteem. The object is to physically attack and majorly dis your enemies until they are totally mortified beyond belief. You'll never come out on top without making the right friends, so be careful who you're nice to. Because in the end, only the shrewdest will survive with their social status intact!

Warning: Can be addictive.

WEB CANDY
If this doesn't make you laugh, then there's no hope for you: Spidey. Now get off this site!

Think you can tell the difference between a Quon and an Oh? Try your skill at All Look Same.

Remember 20 Questions? Try it online.

Try your hand at Flyguy. Cute.

For a much stranger (and a bit on the creepy side) voyeuristic site, check out Group Hug where people post anonymous confessions.

Where do these sites surface? Pee-mail.com. Just a little scat humour.

Seems like everyone likes Celebrity Match. So here it is. While you're around, you may want to check out the Charades Gallery.